Happy-ness
Welcome to my first blog post. I have been wanting to write for some time. I always have that passing thought, you know, while riding a bike, or driving, or cooking, or going to sleep, of what I would say. Yet, once I get home, life always gets in the way. Likely excuse, right? So here goes…
A little bit about me. I am a ballroom dance/ musical theatre/ voice/ piano teacher. I like to say I teach dance by day and music by night. I teach in the NYC public schools for Dancing Classrooms NYC, we teach everything from the Merengue to the Swing and many dances in between. Sometimes it can be challenging, but by the end of the residency it is always rewarding.
I also teach private piano and voice lessons, and this is by far my favorite job. I love watching the children grow and learn musically, especially the ones who stay with me for a few years. As they accomplish their goals as musicians and young human beings, I feel so proud of any part I may have played in that. Sometimes, I feel their talent is even surpassing mine, and what an honor, to watch them blossom.
Perhaps my most important job of all however is being mommy to the most adorable, funny, talented and silly little three year old girl, Isabella. She is way too smart and too stubborn already and I fear for the years to come, yet so loveable and loving at the same time. Sometimes the awe and wonder I feel when I watch her is so strong it takes my breath away. To have the privilege to support and stand beside this little girl as she discovers life and all it has to offer, well, it is by far the most difficult and most rewarding task I have been given in this life.
We are all on our own journeys, this year has been a great one for me personally. I have made some tough decisions, yet I know that everything I have done was in my best interest and that of my daughter. Sometimes it is difficult to say goodbye and close the door, what if there is no open window and you are shut in the dark with no way out? Except, what is hard to see at that point is that life is all about cycles. Only through death can we have rebirth, only through darkness do we appreciate the light. As winter nears, and everything shuts down and passes, we know the darkness will not be forever, we trust that spring will come again, and there will flowers and sunshine. We need only wait, sleep, work, bundle up, and soon enough, we can run free another day.
Anyway, my journey this year has been a significant one. I have been meditating, doing yoga, journaling, and deeply searching all year, for what, I am still not entirely sure. For the last decade or so I have also done yoga, and meditation, I follow a cruelty free lifestyle, and have gone on one search after another. But the difference this year, is I was finally willing to let go, close the door, say goodbye. It was not easy, but it has freed me in a way I did not understand before. I am far from a meditating guru, or even a yoga master, however, I have found moments of peace. Moments of joy, and gratitude.
Today, I spent most of the day carving, pureeing, roasting, and baking all that we could out of two pumpkins we picked out last weekend. I know Halloween was thursday, but we couldn’t fit this time-honored tradition into our schedule until today. I had so much fun sharing this with Isabella, finding ways in which she could be a part of the creations. So, near the end of the day, my daughter was playing with Joe, my husband, in the living room. I was preparing the dinner, I love cooking, it literally feeds my soul. And Bob Dylan’s song “Forever Young” started playing on my Ipad. As I heard Isabella’s laughter in the other room, I could smell the coconut Tempeh I was preparing, I was hit with a wave of happy-ness.
Much like sadness, happiness comes in sudden waves, and many times life’s many distractions pull you away from the emotion and one goes back to the task at hand. Yet, that moment, if you stop and ride the wave. Breathe in and out, just soak it in. That is the thing to hold onto, that makes it all worth while.
