“If you can change your mind, you can change your life.”
The Dark Passenger. I know Dexter has made this a well known subject, but seriously. We all have one… that little voice that underlies everything you do. If you give it space, it will start to criticize, yourself and others, finding fault everywhere. If you continue to give it power it may even start to ask those dark questions, the ones no one likes to admit they are thinking. Questions like, what does it all matter anyway? Does anyone care? Should I even care? Could anyone truly love me? Etc.. The list goes on and on…
Here is what I have come to learn, the dark passenger is always there, and honestly, I may never fully get rid of it… however, I can let it say what it wants, and then I can choose to not listen, to argue back, to reason with it. The dark passenger does not like reason and logic, it is like that cruel bully at school, it just wants to be mean and make you feel bad to help itself feel better, to gain power and control… see at some point it had control, and enjoyed it, in a maniacal sort of way. See that voice confirms what many people may have told you through the years, you’re not good enough, not smart enough, not strong enough. Honestly, it is easier to listen to that voice. Easier to give up and say, well I am not as worthy or as able as others, so why work hard if I can never be great anyway?
This voice is lazy. It is the one who tells you to eat an entire pint of Ben & Jerry’s rather than that big bowl of kale. It doesn’t matter, right? You will never be a beautiful model, so might as well enjoy the moment, live in the short term. The Dark passenger doesn’t care if you feel sick later, they will just use that feeling to repeat yet again how you deserve to be punished, you good for nothing, lazy… you get the point.
However, what if you stand up to that voice, as you would a bully, and say no. I am eating the kale, and I will feel good, because I am worth something. I can do good, and I am worthy of praise, and friendship and love. I choose not to listen, but instead to respectfully disagree.
Now, don’t think the passenger will go away easily, they won’t. However, the more you argue with it, the more your confidence will grow. You will even start to believe and head towards the light, and then start wanting to share that light. See, your dark passenger is greedy and selfish. They don’t want to share. They just want to wallow in their own misery. The light wants to shine, and the more you allow it to shine, the warmer you feel.
Some people may tell you they do not have a dark passenger at all.. I do not believe this, I think we all have one. It is just that some of us listen to it more than others. The confident, happy, joyful people you envy and admire, they have one too. They just ignore them. As we ignore the crazy people on the subway spouting out their conspiracy theories. We give them no credibility, let them rant and rave, then go about your day. That is what I have learned to do with my passenger. I would be lying if I say I have learned to ignore it completely. It is something I have to consciously work on every day. I use reason and logic, look around for the supporting evidence in my life. Practice gratitude and love. The dark passenger understands none of this. so the more you practice being grateful and confident, the more you leave the passenger speechless. You may never get rid of it, but you can minimize it, and let your light shine to where the dark is barely noticeable.